Freedom to Be Who You Are

Some of us acquire an uncomfortable or humiliating sense of being punished, left out, loneliness, and fear in childhood when they fail to meet their parents' expectations or needs. We learn to fear situations where what we think, want, feel, or need differs from the needs of others or disturbs them. Although uncomfortable, it seems less frightening to keep silent, pretend, and feel shame about our needs. For children exposed to silencing their own needs, this is the most adaptable strategy, but as adults, it is crucial to develop the strength to embrace diversity. To give air to our own experience and learn to stand by ourselves. And then, we enter into interactions with the world and connect with others based on our choice, without feeling constricted or compelled.

Equally important is to choose to connect with people with whom there is truly space for a relationship because they themselves know themselves, allow themselves and others to be different, and are not threatened by that difference. These are people who do not shift the responsibility for their needs onto others, who can clearly say yes or no, and do not believe that others owe them something.

Feel free to break or seriously redefine all relationships with people who believe that we are here to regulate their feelings or satisfy their images and fantasies, and who see our different attitude, feelings, or choices as a threat to themselves, so they are inclined to silence us, persuade, bribe, or the like.