{"id":34788,"date":"2025-02-08T22:18:16","date_gmt":"2025-02-08T22:18:16","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/jelenaletica.com\/?p=34788"},"modified":"2025-02-11T12:09:02","modified_gmt":"2025-02-11T12:09:02","slug":"sto-mozete-ocekivati-od-partnerskog-savjetovanja-razumijevanje-odnosa-i-osobni-rast","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jelenaletica.com\/en\/sto-mozete-ocekivati-od-partnerskog-savjetovanja-razumijevanje-odnosa-i-osobni-rast\/","title":{"rendered":"What to Expect from Couples Counseling?"},"content":{"rendered":"
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What to Expect from Couples Counseling?<\/h2>\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t
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Mnogi od nas odrastaju s romanti\u010dnom idejom da ljubav treba te\u0107i prirodno, bez napora i bez previ\u0161e propitivanja. No, jesu li na\u0161a intuicija i emocije doista precizni vodi\u010di u ljubavnom odnosu? I jesu li na\u0161i emocionalni impulsi pouzdani ili ih ipak trebamo propitati dublje? Je li neromanti\u010dno ili problemati\u010dno izlo\u017eiti na\u0161 najprivatniji odnos profesionalnom pogledu i tra\u017eiti pomo\u0107? Iskreno, rijetko u \u017eivotu dobijemo smislenu podr\u0161ku i vo\u0111enje kako bismo razumjeli tko smo u odnosu, kakve odnose \u017eelimo graditi i kako to ostvariti. Zato je potpuno razumljivo potra\u017eiti pomo\u0107.<\/p>\n

Na\u0161e veze \u010desto nose tragove pro\u0161lih iskustava, osobito onih iz djetinjstva. Kao odrasli ljudi, jo\u0161 uvijek reagiramo na na\u010dine na koje smo nekad morali da bismo osigurali prihva\u0107anje i pre\u017eivljavanje. Me\u0111utim, ono \u0161to nam je nekada dobro slu\u017eilo, u odraslim odnosima vjerojatno nas barem dijelom ograni\u010dava. <\/p>\n

S obzirom na to da su nam ljubavni odnosi va\u017eni i da donose blizinu s drugima, prirodno je da izazivaju osje\u0107aje ranjivosti i aktiviraju obrane koje smo razvili kako bismo se prilagodili svojim okolnostima i svijetu oko nas. U ljubavni odnos \u0107emo uplesti sve \u0161to duboko osje\u0107amo o sebi i svijetu; na\u0161e neosvje\u0161tene pretpostavke o tome \u0161to zaslu\u017eujemo i kako nas drugi vide, strategije nau\u010dene davno u ranom djetinjstvu ili kroz kasnija iskustva. I upravo zato  ljubavne veze nude nam dragocjene prilike. One nam poma\u017eu preispitati vlastite postavke, postati svjesniji sebe i razviti bolje na\u010dine povezivanja, kako s partnerom, tako i sa samima sobom.<\/p>\n

What Does Couples Counseling Look Like, and What Can You Expect?<\/strong><\/p>\n

The daily proximity and practical problems every couple faces make it challenging to truly see and understand each other. Therefore, entering a new space and conversing with a therapist often allows partners to gain distance from the everyday and a fresh perspective on themselves, their partner, and their relationship.<\/p>\n

The first meeting with a therapist is usually an opportunity to create a safe space where vulnerability can be shared. Partners come to counseling or therapy with both expressed and unspoken desires and goals regarding their relationship. The therapist doesn't provide ready-made solutions but offers support in the process of clarifying what's happening in the relationship. The goal of Gestalt therapy is to facilitate change that comes through clarity and understanding of the relationship.<\/p>\n

In this process, it's important to understand the true needs and reasons behind each partner's behavior. What lies behind certain behaviors\u2014arguments, grievances, distancing, or agreeing to something that doesn't suit us? Is it a struggle for power and respect, a need for belonging and security in the relationship, or something else?<\/p>\n

Beyond each partner's personal perspective, couples counseling helps the couple understand the nature of their contact, i.e., how they together shape the dynamics of the relationship and how each participates in maintaining that dynamic. For example, one person may express anger loudly, accuse, while the other withdraws, avoids, or takes the blame. As long as this dynamic persists, neither person recognizes their own needs nor takes responsibility for them.<\/p>\n

Couples create various complex, sometimes very subtle dynamics that are based on entirely different ideas and expectations than what they might seem. Uncovering these dynamics offers great potential for change, personal growth, and growth as a couple.<\/p>\n

Danish therapist Hanne Hostrup describes the \"games\" couples play to avoid honestly expressing their feelings and needs. For example, a partner who feels insecure may unconsciously provoke jealousy to receive confirmation from the other partner that they care. The other partner may use withdrawal or silence as a form of control, creating emotional distance and making the partner constantly guess what's wrong. Some couples express disagreements through passive aggression\u2014small provocations or sarcastic comments, instead of open dialogue. Becoming aware of these patterns provides an opportunity for deeper, more honest dialogue.<\/p>\n

When we become aware of these dynamics, we have the chance to meet as two people who no longer hide behind their masks. We can openly express our needs, desires, and insecurities. Through such a process, the relationship can become a space where we are both accepted\u2014not perfect, but real.<\/p>\n

The goal of couples therapy isn't necessarily to 'fix' the relationship or fulfill fantasies of perfection. The aim is to enable partners to clearly see who they are, what they bring into the relationship, and how they both actively create that dynamic. Is this something we want to maintain? Will we move toward open, honest contact? Couples therapy allows for deep inner reflection and the courage to ask questions that may have never been spoken.<\/p>\n

The goal of couples therapy isn't necessarily to 'fix' the relationship or fulfill fantasies of perfection. The aim is to enable partners to clearly see who they are, what they bring into the relationship, and how they both actively create that dynamic. Is this something we want to maintain? Will we move toward open, honest contact? Couples therapy allows for deep inner reflection and the courage to ask questions that may have never been spoken.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t

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Many of us grow up with the romantic notion that love should flow naturally, effortlessly, and without too much questioning. But are our intuitions and emotions truly accurate guides in romantic relationships? Are our emotional impulses always the best compass, or do we sometimes need to delve deeper? Is it unromantic or problematic to expose our most private relationship to a professional perspective and seek help? Honestly, it's rare in life to receive meaningful support and guidance to understand who we are within a relationship, what kind of relationships we wish to build, and how to achieve that. Therefore, seeking help is entirely understandable.
\nOur relationships often carry traces of past experiences, especially those from childhood. As adults, we still react in ways we once had to, to ensure acceptance and survival. However, what once served us well now likely holds us back.
\nGiven that our romantic relationships are important and bring us closer to others, it's natural for them to evoke feelings of vulnerability and activate defenses we've developed to adapt to the world around us. In a romantic relationship, we weave in everything we deeply feel about ourselves and the world; our unconscious assumptions about what we deserve and how others perceive us, strategies learned long ago in early childhood or through later experiences. And precisely because of this, romantic relationships offer us precious opportunities. They help us reexamine our own assumptions, become more self-aware, and develop better ways of connecting, both with our partner and with ourselves.
\nWhat Does Couples Counseling Look Like, and What Can You Expect?
\nThe daily proximity and practical problems every couple faces make it challenging to truly see and understand each other. Therefore, entering a new space and conversing with a therapist often allows partners to gain distance from the everyday and a fresh perspective on themselves, their partner, and their relationship.
\nThe first meeting with a therapist is usually an opportunity to create a safe space where vulnerability can be shared. Partners come to counseling or therapy with both expressed and unspoken desires and goals regarding their relationship. The therapist doesn't provide ready-made solutions but offers support in the process of clarifying what's happening in the relationship. The goal of Gestalt therapy is to facilitate change that comes through clarity and understanding of the relationship.
\nIn this process, it's important to understand the true needs and reasons behind each partner's behavior. What lies behind certain behaviors\u2014arguments, grievances, distancing, or agreeing to something that doesn't suit us? Is it a struggle for power and respect, a need for belonging and security in the relationship, or something else?
\nBeyond each partner's personal perspective, couples counseling helps the couple understand the nature of their contact, i.e., how they together shape the dynamics of the relationship and how each participates in maintaining that dynamic. For example, one person may express anger loudly, accuse, while the other withdraws, avoids, or takes the blame. As long as this dynamic persists, neither person recognizes their own needs nor takes responsibility for them.
\nCouples create various complex, sometimes very subtle dynamics that are based on entirely different ideas and expectations than what they might seem. Uncovering these dynamics offers great potential for change, personal growth, and growth as a couple.
\nDanish therapist Hanne Hostrup describes the \"games\" couples play to avoid honestly expressing their feelings and needs. For example, a partner who feels insecure may unconsciously provoke jealousy to receive confirmation from the other partner that they care. The other partner may use withdrawal or silence as a form of control, creating emotional distance and making the partner constantly guess what's wrong. Some couples express disagreements through passive aggression\u2014small provocations or sarcastic comments, instead of open dialogue. Becoming aware of these patterns provides an opportunity for deeper, more honest dialogue.
\nWhen we become aware of these dynamics, we have the chance to meet as two people who no longer hide behind their masks. We can openly express our needs, desires, and insecurities. Through such a process, the relationship can become a space where we are both accepted\u2014not perfect, but real.
\nThe goal of couples therapy isn't necessarily to 'fix' the relationship or fulfill fantasies of perfection. The aim is to enable partners to clearly see who they are, what they bring into the relationship, and how they both actively create that dynamic. Is this something we want to maintain? Will we move toward open, honest contact? Couples therapy allows for deep inner reflection and the courage to ask questions that may have never been spoken.
\nThe goal of couples therapy isn't necessarily to 'fix' the relationship or fulfill fantasies of perfection. The aim is to enable partners to clearly see who they are, what they bring into the relationship, and how they both actively create that dynamic. Is this something we want to maintain? Will we move toward open, honest contact? Couples therapy allows for deep inner reflection and the courage to ask questions that may have never been spoken. <\/p>","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":34804,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[196],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-34788","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-blog"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jelenaletica.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/34788","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jelenaletica.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jelenaletica.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jelenaletica.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jelenaletica.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=34788"}],"version-history":[{"count":21,"href":"https:\/\/jelenaletica.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/34788\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":34814,"href":"https:\/\/jelenaletica.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/34788\/revisions\/34814"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jelenaletica.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/34804"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jelenaletica.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=34788"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jelenaletica.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=34788"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jelenaletica.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=34788"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}